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—-My name is (name) remember that, you’ll be screaming it later.
—-Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
—-The key of my happiness, just forgetting my past.
—-I’m not too good at algebra, but doesn’t u + i = 3D 69?
—-How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
—-You must work at Subway, cause you just gave me a foot long.
—-Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
—-I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.
—-Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I would love to tap that a*ss!
—-What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper!
—-My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.
—-I believe in love and marriage but not necessarily with the same person.
—-A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.
—-Without Her Permission I Will Touch Her Only To Wipe Her Tears!
—-Smile! It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
—-Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
—-If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine 🙂
—-Two word’s guys hate DON’T and STOP, unless you put them together 🙂
—-A good date ends with dinner. An awesome date ends with breakfast!
—-Cleavage is like the Sun. You can look at it but you cannot stare – unless you are wearing sunglasses!
—-I like my women like I like my toaster..two warm holes and never leaves the kitchen.
—-Of course I’m naughty. I’ve always had to compete for attention, you see.
—-Lets play Titanic, you’ll be the ocean and ill go down on you.
—-I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.
—-Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable? like a coma.
—-You’re like a prize winning fish. I don’t know whether to eat you or mount you.
—-I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.
—-Wanna play Pearl Harbor? Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.
—-You remind me of a Championship bass, I don’t know whether to mount you or eat you!
—-Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
—-Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
—-My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.
—-How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I’ll put my head in.
—-You’ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
—-Love is blind, and greed insatiable.
—-I’m easy. Are you?
—-If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?
—-If it’s true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!
—-I may not be Mr. Right, but I’ll screw you till he shows up.
—-Poke me now if you’ve ever had a crush on me..
—-We know that romance brings out the beast in you.