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Funny Whatsapp Status facebook instagram english

Funny Whatsapp Status facebook instagram english

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****A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s****She changes it more often.

****No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.

****I don’t have a bank account because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name.

****I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.

****Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Funny Whatsapp Status facebook instagram english
Funny Whatsapp Status facebook instagram english


****I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

****Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

****Thinking is one thing no one***has ever been able to tax.

****My life needs editing.

****Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.

****Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.

****I never said most of the things I said.

****If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.

****Reality continues to ruin my life****

****If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving.

****I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

****All men are equal before fish.

****I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

****If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

****TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

****If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.

****I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.

****I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.

****If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

3****There’s no such thing as soy milk. It’s soy juice.

****As for our majority… one is enough.

****I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.

****We’ll love you just the way you are if you’re perfect.

****Turn up the lights. I don’t want to go home in the dark.

****I love to go to switzerland – if only to be near my m

****I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

****Include me out.

****One man is as good as another until he has written a book.

****I saw a stationery store move.

****Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

****Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.

****Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.

****I know my strong points: I work hard, I have talent, I’m funny, and I’m a good person.

****To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.

****You can’t really be strong until you see a funny side to things.

****47. It’s hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.

****I always just wanted to be funny. I never really planned to be scary.

****If something is shocking without being funny it’s hard to justify.

****I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

****You know what’s funny to me? Attitude.

****If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that’s what I’d be~~because monkeys are funny and lions are strong.

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