Indian Movies Logic:
~~After getting hit by a bullet, hero wakes up with more power and kills everyone. Jaise Bullet Nahi Vitamin Ki Goli Ho!
I’m not like other girls… I know what I want for dinner. I’ve been thinking about it since we finished lunch!
In January – I’ll make good friends this year.
In December – Sab Bekaar Log Bhare Pade Hain Iss Duniya Mein!
~~Pajama and Palazzo are actually brothers… Only thing is Pajama studied in Municipal School and Palazzo in Convent School.
And same is with Bermuda, actually it is Kachcha, sent abroad for higher studies!
~~Cherish the memories of yesterday;
Celebrate the happiness of today;
And together look forward to new hopes and joys for beautiful tomorrow.
Excellence is not for someone else to notice, it’s for your own satisfaction!
If you develop a habit of praying to God for others, you will never need to pray for your own self.
Mom: Beta Shadi Usse Karo Jo Tumhari Baat Sune, Tumhein Waqt De Aur Kabhi Akela Na Chhode.
Girl: Mom, Cellphone Se Shaadi Hoti Hai Kya?
~~A horse died of starvation.
Usko Koi Ghaas Nahi Daalta Tha!
~~What does the chromosome like to wear?
I don’t trust stairs.
They’re always up to something!
Mom: Son are you getting enough sleep?
Engineering Student: Sometimes when I sneeze my eyes close!
Happiness is… not having to set the alarm clock for the next day!
Successful people build each other up. They motivate, inspire and push each other. Unsuccessful people hate, blame, and complain!
No matter who you are and what happens in your life, you still have the chance to turn your life around and be great.
~~Boy: Kya Ab Hum Iss Dosti Ko Rishtedari Mein Badal Lein?
Girl: Haan! Aaj Se Tu Mera Sirf Dost Nahi~~~Mera Bhai Bhi Hai!
Kitna Bhi Guitar Seekh Lo, Kitni Bhi Shayari Karlo, Lekin Ladki Toh Woh Hi Le Jayega Jiske Paas Sarkari Naukri Ho!
Bunty: Why is Thor’s brother so relaxed ~~all the time?
Pappu: I don’t know… he’s just ‘low-key’!
90% of the regrets in my life ~~involve alcohol and the send button!
What do you call a tea which stays with you for a long time?
Why did the golfer take an extra pair of socks?
Just in case he gets a hole in one!
May today be a celebration of God’s wonderful plan for you.
The fact there are imaginary numbers in Maths is proof that humans create their own problems and then cry!
Time always comes in its own format… It is our attitude & behaviour that makes it difficult or pleasant. Be simple but be significant!
The audience sees a joker as joker!
But the joker sees himself as a performer. No matter what others think, It’s your life, go on with confidence.
Wife: I have blisters on my hands from the broom.
Husband: Next time take the car, silly!
Teacher: Today’s homework is to read pages from 15-25.
Pappu: Yaay! There’s no homework today!
Why don’t keyboards sleep?
Because they have two shifts!
What do you call an alcoholic Vampire?
I can’t believe there’s only one month left in 2017… time flies when your life is falling apart!
~~Remember when teachers used to say,~~~You won’t be walking around with a calculator in your pocket”… Well, look at us now!
Wine o’clock is my favourite time of the day!
You only live once?
No, you live everyday. You only die once!
It’s not the lion’s roar that signals danger, it’s their silence!
Your faith can move mountains and your doubt can create them!
When I was walking alone, I wished I could reach the end of the road… but when friends joined me, I wished that the road never ends.
~~Friend: Look, shooting star, let’s make a wish.
Boy: I wish I had a girlfriend.
Shooting Star goes back to the galaxy!
~~I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid.
He says he can stop anytime!
Nothing in my life ever works out, so why should I?
~~100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.
Today, everyone has a car and only the rich have horses.
Oh how the stables have turned!
I hope when I die, it’s early in the morning so I don’t have to go to work that day!
Happy Birthday to the most, kind, loving, generous and beautiful mother.
Wishing you a birthday as special as you are!
If I overcook all my food, will I lose weight since I already burnt the calories?
It does not matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop!
~Believing in someone is good;
Believing in yourself is great;
But believing in God is everything.
I~ haven’t had sex in such a long time… I’m beginning to feel married!
I~ sold the memories of my love life to a publisher – they are going to make a joke book out of it!
“Siri, why am I single?”
Siri activates front camera!
Things I and my laptop have in common:
Difficult to wake up from sleep
Struggles to complete basic tasks
Girlfriend: What are those four words that you never want to hear?
Pappu: There is no food!
Banta: Why most of the archeologists are females?
Santa: Because ~~they love digging up the best!
~You’re my secret birthday wish. Love you till eternity!
Have a rollicking birthday!
Appreciate those who don’t give up on you!
You cannot go back in time and fix your mistakes, but you can learn from them and forgive yourself for not knowing better!
May your day begins with a smile on your face, love in your heart and happiness within your soul.
Good Morning and have a Nice Weekend!
My life is a constant battle between my love for food and not wanting to get fat!
~Girl: Dad I want a robot that blindly follows my commands and doesn’t question me.
Dad: That means you are ready to get married now!
~How did the hamburger introduce his girlfriend?
~Girl (Crying): Meri Shaadi Fix Ho Gayi Hai.
Boy: OMG! Kis Se?
Girl: He lives in the USA.
Boy: Yaar, Ek Kaam Kar Apne Hone Wale Husband Se Ek iPhoneX Mangwa De, Vahan Sasta Milta Hai!
Girlfriend: Only good night? Aren’t you forgetting something?
Boy: Oh Yeah! Don’t forget to link your Aadhar to everything you have!
Celebrating the blessing you are and the joy that you bring.
Birthday wishes to a loving daughter!
A person who walks with his legs reaches his destination;
And a person who walks with his brain reaches his destiny!
Sometimes you don’t realize your own strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness!
~Meditation and prayer are important but how we treat others after we pray is more important.
~Girl: I like people who don’t fear death.
Boy (Trying to impress her): I have booked tickets for Padmavati~~~~
~~I am so lazy that I wish I were a cartoon character so I could wear the same outfit every day!
There are three kinds of men~~~
The few who learn by observati~~
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves!
~Ghanta is that magical word that brings you back in a losing argument!
Don’t expect any New Years resolutions from me.
I intend on staying the same awkward, sarcastic, foul-mouthed delight you’ve all come to know and love!
Everybody loves you until you become the competition!
Don’t let your emotions make your decisions!
What’s the tallest building in the world?
A library because they have the most stories!
You cannot continue on the same path and arrive at a different destination. Make the choice to have your actions reflect your goals.
Pappu: Dad, I am not able to find the WiFi printer anymore.
Santa: I renamed it to Bob Marley.
Pappu: Why Bob Marley?
Santa: Because it’s always jammin!
Make the girl pay on your first date and she’ll realise that you are mot same as the other guys!
Don’t be ashamed of who you are.
That’s your parents’ job!
Just went to an emotional wedding.
Even the cake was in tiers!
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble!
May you have God’s best in everything.
Have a wonderful Birthday!
Some people make your laugh a little louder, your smile a little brighter and your life a little better. They’re the ones worth hanging onto!
Stop worrying about what can go wrong, and get excited about what can go right!
Never stop doing little things for others. Sometimes those little things occupy the biggest part of their hearts.
~Bunty: How is your crush?
Pappu: No more.
Bunty: What happened?
Pappu: Nothing, she replied to my Hi now!
Bunty: She doesn’t deserve you, bro~~~
~Patient: Please Doctor, Kadwi Dawai Mat Likhna.
Punjabi Doctor: Ek Kilo Jalebi Likh Dun Phir?!
~A Physicist and a Biologist had a relationship;
But there was no Chemistry!
~Crush: Poets attract me most.
Boy: I am a Poet.
Crush: Sunao Kuch
Boy: Jhut Bolna Paap Hai,
Ghar Ke Neeche Saanp Hai,
Kaali Mata Aayegi,
Aag Laga Ke Jayegi~~~
Judge: What do you call a lawyer, who doesn’t know the law?
Lawyer: A judge!
~Why some boys are always single:
Pappu: Bhaji, Woh Ladki Line De Rahi Hai Ja Usse Date Ke Bare Mein Puch.
Bunty: Didi, Aaj Date Kya Hai?
Wife: I want a divorce because you won’t stop talking in egg phrases.
Husband: I don’t want this marriage to be over easy. I’m scrambling to fix this!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
An important information:
In case of accident, my blood type is Jack Daniel’s!
When I look back at 2018
I lost friends, grades and hair but the hair is what I’m the most concerned about!
~Throw a party tonight, leave all the windows open and let’s see what happens…
Perhaps some drinks will warm us up!
Wishing you happy birthday, stay cool forever!
~~Deal with your problems before they deal with your happiness!
~~The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.
Good Morning and have a Great Week~~~
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